This is my buyer client, it seems like she has developed feelings for some very odd reason.
We are still looking at homes, she has not purchased anything yet and yesterday was her birthday and she had severe expectations for me to wish her birthday.
I have told her numerous times this is a business relationship nothing more. She keeps sending messages like these:
I don’t feel comfortable working with her.
How do I tell her that she needs to find a new realtor before she goes complete psycho?!!
While I do think this lady is short a few cards of a full deck, what’s the harm in wishing your clients a happy birthday?
This is a relationship business, and our clients are more than a commission check. Not being nasty or rhetorical, genuinely curious.
She can mistake his kindness for flirting, I understand why he didn’t wish this specific client a happy birthday.
Agreed but in deference of him if he’s getting the crazy vibe from her why fuel the fire with Bday wishes?
He probably wants to give her no reason to feel this is anything but business. I don’t celebrate birthdays and am the friendliest broker, I build years long relationships with my clients and never wish them happy bday.
I usually want and try to form ongoing friendships with clients, but if someone were *this* attached, I would be very cautious.
Anyone that thinks I didn’t wish her. Please take a look. I wished her already yesterday once she reminded me. She then texted me again this morning that she was hurt. It isn’t that I don’t wish my clients…. I always do. She wants more than that. I’ve read every single comment here…. Thank you everyone!!!
Keep your distance. This is not a healthy relationship.
We wish all of our clients a happy birthday! We also become friends with almost every single one of our clients.
Developing a relationship gets you more business and more referrals. Some see the texts as creepy… but what if she was trying to be funny? That’s what’s wrong with texts… everyone interprets them differently.
First of all, if it was my client I would have wished her a happy birthday, it’s the humane thing to do. secondly, I think she seems a little mentally unstable
Well. You’re married. This is easy. “My wife and I were spending time together and I wasn’t thinking about work or anyone else.
Hope it was a great birthday! We can absolutely be friends within the context of my searching for the right home for you, but with proper expectations and boundaries. If this is not acceptable to you, I may not be a good fit as your agent.”
Clearly, she isn’t getting it. Some people don’t they’re clueless and desperate people they take everything out of context.
You can professionally breakup with her lol tell her it would be best if she went with another agent. Or you could ghost her.
1) if you break up with her professionally she will know it was her not you?
2) if you ghost her she could go and make shit up about you and it could later reflect back poorly on you?
I dunno 🤷🏻♀️ I’ve been there it’s tough.
Just say “I’m so sorry you feel that way and I’m so sorry for missing your birthday!! Hope you had a great day, now let’s go find you a home!! Happy birthday” and move on.
No cause for drama or standing your ground or not… just get it done and move on. Or if you’re going to get rid of her as a client, do it already.
It would not have hurt to say Happy Birthday to her. I send my clients (and their children if I know it) birthday cards, Mothers Day cards (in some instances my card is the only card they get and they have children) Father’s Day Cards and of course Christmas cards. Its a small investment in a lifetime of good relationships.
Omg all you people saying what’s the big deal & I wish all my clients happy birthday & I have an awesome system to generate messages, YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT. She has NO BOUNDARIES & is smitten w this poor guy. He is in a lose lose situation if he does manage to get her to the closing table w/o getting stabbed, she will never let him go.
She’s very unwell. She needs a functional doctor. It’s screaming low Vit D and b12 to me. (I’ve had to spend a lot of time learning about those because of my own health)
Funny that you say that because low vitamin B12 will make you go CRAZY
It really does.
Low Vit D, B12, and ferritin often run together. And even just one of them can absolutely ruin your life, and make you mentall unwell. Most folks with any of those deficiencies have been pushed into many kinds of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety, along with other psych meds, for years, instead of doctors testing these and fixing them. It’s a silent global crisis we’re all going through.
Doctors don’t learn about nutrition much in Med school. They’ll tell us themselves. So they don’t even know the right way to look at the lab work for them.
I would know. I’ve had 15 years of my life stolen from me because of that exact situation. And I now run a 13,000 member group about iron deficiency, and am active in Vit D and B12 groups because they can often deplete each other and run concurrently together.
Sounds like this could escalate and go way left. Jail, injury, so many alternate reality antics. Or maybe nothing at all. I suggest telling her you are going on an already planned vacation.
Traveling around the world. Referr her to an older direct woman who will support your absence for your protection and not put up with her BS. Then block her from every form of communication. You are out of the country, right?
On a serious note, to me it appears there are some mental health issues with her. And I don’t mean that in a funny way.
For the people that say “just pretend to be her friend and get the job done”, that could do a lot of damage once the transaction is over and he ghosts her (IF he ghosts her).
Do you know any of her friends that you could ask about any potential issues? Said only with compassion, she sounds like she needs some professional help!
What a big deal to wish someone a birthday? So many so quick here to call her pshyco. Let me ask you, on your Facebook you have ONLY your close friends? Because FB reminds you regularly about everyone’s birthday there.
In the same situation I’d just say OMG completely forgot about your birthday, you are right, you mentioned that. Happy birthday dear! And that’s it.
No, you decided to educate her and show her how wrong she was thinking about you better than you about her. “Nothing personal, just money” – that how it sounds.
Buying a home today very stressful. Just be there and help them walk through. That what we get paid for. Not right?
Maybe a better response might be, “I’m sorry ma’am. I’ve been terribly busy and this just slipped by me. Will you forgive me?”
You’re more likely to turn this client into a source of referrals this way than the other. My emotional clients always tend to be the best source of referrals for me.
Why?
Because they are invested in me and all it took from me was treating them as important individuals.
I would’ve handled it different. I know all my client’s birthdays and house anniversaries and have it in my calendar. (My assistant added them) it’s a very simple step that goes a long way that means a lot to the client. Send your client my way if they are in souther California !!! I’d be happy to help and make her feel special !
I think it’s very important and useful to do that. It also opens up the door to new conversations and keeps you relevant.
However, this person is very unwell. I think that’s a big point here.
If you don’t want to work with her don’t. Talk to your broker and have a joint zoom to get her a new agent and leave it with broker to handle from there Move on and get some of your other deals done – don’t waste another moment getting 150 opinions it makes for good social media but doesn’t extract you from this distraction only amplifies it. What you focus on expands! Good luck!
Lol, I’m sure I speak for many female agents here- this totally happens. Refer her out. You can basically say something to the tune “My co-agent Bob is going to show you properties today, would that be okay?” and just go from there. Basically the referred agent is your teammate and he’s taking over because you’re busy. This is a polite way to hand off an uncomfortable client to the referral.
I’m a little late to this party but I had a similar experience last year. I contacted another realtor to see if he would take him on as a client, had my husband send him a text asking him to never contact me again, sent he and his wife an email connecting them with the other realtor, and blocked them from all communication with me. Once he crossed a line, I never corresponded with him again.
This is sad and funny at the same time. Moe, so sorry that you are experiencing this yet all of the women get this ALL THE TIME! And not just from the realtor clients. EVERY SINGLE WOMAN you know has been creepily talked to, stalked or kissed or worse in their lives — completely uncalled for…. YES refer her out and run! It won’t stop.
My first thought was to call you out on being yet another man who calls a woman psycho for no reason.
However, Pam is right unfortunately.
Send these screenshots to your broker as part of a paper trail *before* you take steps to end the agency relationship.
CYA in case something is claimed against you professionally or sexually. Use the words uncomfortable, inappropriate, concerned and give factual bullet points about what’s been done within the agency relationship so far.
Your broker might step in and reassign her to someone else in the office for you.
Sorry this is happening. Most women have been in this spot. It’s not acceptable.
This lady seems that she has the potential to be a stalker. The last thing he needs to do is what she wants because it will only encourage that behavior.
She doesn’t seem normal and she may interpret any type of attention as affection so not a good idea to give her mind anything she could possibly feed on
What is wrong with telling your clients Happy Birthday?
Buying Real Estate is personal.
Every buyer wants to FEEL special. If you have trouble relating or communicating with your Buyer, refer them to someone else. You are serving people Performing a personal service.
What about partnering up with another agent to help her find the home. Your buyers assistant takes over the home search portion and you step back and away.
Once under contract, you support buyers assistant / handle all high level stuff thru close. if the uncomfortable texts continue, give 100% (less referral fee) to buyers assistant and let her know you can’t continue to work with her but said agent will take great care of her.
It’s not that big of a deal, wish her happy birthday! I wish all of my clients happy birthday, happy anniversary and I try to remember the date they bought their home and wish them a happy homeversary too. It’s not like you are asking her to marry you but you do want her business now and in the future. And you want her referrals. I do most of my business on referrals. If my clients didn’t become my friends and many become like family I would not have such a thriving business! I owe my success to my clients who are now my friends and practically family.
I wish my customers happy birthday. Shit, I wished a stranger at a bar happy birthday yesterday. Get over yourself. Maybe she feels like you’re treating her like a number…or a paycheck. This is a relationship business. Which is why she’s working with you instead of Zillow AI…for now
You are the only person who can sense if she is crossing the line. If the combination of her texts and interactions during showing homes certainly makes you uncomfortable, you are better off referring her to another KW agent.
I would tell her, ” As your realtor, my main focus is to make sure you find the best home and guide you till the end of the transaction when I hand you the key.
To keep this relationship professional and still helping you with your real estate need, I am going to refer you to a great agent to take on this task. Unfortunately, I can no longer serve you.”
Everything said made a ton of sense. But, what about this?
suppose you added a little information? I am not saying
your content isn’t solid., however what if you added a
headline to maybe get people’s attention? I mean Realtors Choose | Not The
Realtor-Client Relationship That I Want – Realtors Choose is kinda vanilla.
You could look at Yahoo’s home page and note how they create post titles to get viewers interested.
You might add a video or a picture or two to
get readers interested about everything’ve got to say. Just my opinion, it
might bring your posts a little bit more interesting.